do you ever know what does a 'lol' mean to me ?

I waited and waited, for a reply from you.
but it never came ):

难以置信

非常惊奇的，after 我昨天把一切发泄在这时，
今天就没那么糟了

今天除了早上有尴尬的时分，
其他的日子都很高兴。
我今天快乐了许多许多
也许因为现在不是我一个人

守住这一个秘密，
一个让我很痛很痛的秘密。
谢谢朋友们纷纷的安慰
真的非常兴庆有你们 :)

这一次，我真的累了。

我将用华语表达一切因为这对我来说比较容易。

这一次，我真的累了。
你一直在给我希望后，在从高出把我丢下。

反省了过后，我承认我在吃醋。
我知道这是一个很幼稚的东东，但是这一次我真得很痛。
当我看到你们俩这么亲密，而我们又疏理到那么远
我的心会很痛很痛。
也许，或许，这一次真的是我太自私了
但是这一次我无法过得了我自己那一关

不管我这么的欺骗自己，不管我这么的安慰自己
我还是找得到一个理由，让我难以置信。
我从来就没那么伤心过，
那是因为这一次，我在乎。

Signs.

First, we are having lesser topics to talk about.
Second, you seem very uninterested in what im talking about.
Third, i think others meant more to you

Are these signs of us drifting?

Friends.

Tingfang HoleS:
Im super duper wooper sorry for pangsehing these few days :/
Sorry for not being there for you,not able to listen to you speaking heart matters.
Just to let you know, you'd been such a great friend,
though you had attitudes sometimes, but who in this hell world dont.
And you are always there with your listening ear and I really appreciate it.
The moment you pass me our 1 year monthsary card, I really feel very touched.
Because you are the first friend of mine that keep tracks of such dates.
Therfore, I'm super apologetic for not being there for you sometimes.
I promise kay, if you feeel lonely, talk to me :D
I will try my best not to ignore you, or whatever else.
Sorry once again (L)

and to you,you and you

1st you :
I know we're drifting apart . I know you are aware of it too.
Its not that I do not want to salavage this situation,
Im just so unclear of what step to take.
Moreover, you meant more than a friend to me.

2nd & 3rd you:
why do you guys turn so half hot & half cold?
why are you guys sucha good friend this moment,
and turn to sucha irritating one next moment.
But i will always forgive you guys,
cause you guys are one who make me feel so touched.

RTTM

Name 10 friends and answer the questions below

1. Alicia
2. Yikai
3. HuiYi
4. Shengning
5. Tingfang
6. Siewhua
7. Kelvin
8. Marcus
9. Aisha
10. Jiahui

how is no.7 related to you? (kelvin)
my poker :D

is no.1 special to you? (alicia)
my super trio , of course (L)

have you quarrelled with no.4? (shengning)
Nah, she's my advice provider cum mother :P

if no.2 and no.8 are together, will eu believe it?(Yikai&Marcus)
Not totally impossible :P But i think they will end up playing hand games

if no.10 said he/she loved eu, will eu be suprised? (Jiahui)
of course not ! she love me (bhb a little) as a junior :P

what do eu have in common with no.9? (Aisha)
we are friendly humans :D

how did eu meet no.6? (siewhua)
SKSS 1E1/2E1

if eu didn't met no.3, how will yr life be? (HuiYi)
horrible without a very good listening ear

is no.5 a good friend? (Tingfang)
HoleS (: you say for yourself haha :D

Hurt.。伤心

No i'm not hurt by friends
Dont anyhow assume thank you.
So you'd better shut your big fat mouth .
(a bit rude sorry, not in a very good mood)
I dont know whether you are refering to me,
but if thats the truth, im really speechless.
why is it that the thing happens
when i decided to give everything up.
and im given hope all over again.
but no, im still determined to give it up.
im too young for this. its still something i cant adapt to.
so yes, this shall be the end.
we shall be friends, forever and ever (:

i feel at such a distance with them(s).
idk why, i kind of hate 3E1 now.
life there sucks so much nowadays.
why can people change so fast.
its so fearful.

P/s: Thanks alicia for that super long note in my phone (: